Sunday, January 03, 2010

Posts from the BB

Every year I write a post on or around December 1st in commemoration of World AIDS Day. Here's that post written on December 1st.
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Today’s another day that we shouldn’t have to recognize but we want to pay tribute to those persons who have succumbed and those who are living with this disease. Every person who recklessly chooses to have unprotected sex endangers all of us and this has to stop. I pray the day will come when HIV/AIDS is a disease we can say happened ‘way back when’. I long for the day when a cure is found so that we can help those now who are now living with this disease.

INTERNATIONAL HIV/AIDS STATS People living with HIV:* 33.4 million people living with HIV worldwide* 31.3 million adults* 15.7 million women* 2.1 million children under 15New HIV cases in 2008:* 2.7 million people* 2.3 million adults* 430,000 children under 15HIV-related deaths in 2008:* 2 million total death

Posts from the BB

I wrote this a few weeks ago but only now getting the opportunity to post it.
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I wondered about the decision to write that about myself but I felt and feel that this is who I am. I was attracted to a girl. Very attracted and having made no bones about being open to having relationships with women so revealing on twitter that I found her attractive seemed like nothing to me. Only after posting it did I realize that persons may have objections or tend to look at me differently. I mean I haven’t changed but their perceptions of me will. Who am I now?As usual people don’t see me; they see fat, natural hair, crooked teeth. That’s not even an ounce of who I am. That merely measures a centimeter on my 5foot 8inch frame. A New Year begins soon and my hope for the New Year is for a world where people become more tolerant of others and themselves. Learn to accept the good with the bad and realize that being a ‘better you’ doesn’t make you better than anyone else.

Posts from the BB

I've had a few ops to sleep with ex-boyfriends. They've asked and I usually turn them down. I don't have many exes but they seem to keep coming back wanting more. I'm far from conceited (barely confident even) but I've always thought of myself as adecent catch. At least for the right guy anyway.

I wonder about their offers, thinking why am I only getting these old offers there's currently no new guy offering to do anything. What's that about? I like knowing they still want me and though I've been honest with them they keep trying. That does an ego wonders but in the same vein my ego gets shot down, every time an op is seemingly missed.

I've been laying in a bed of fantasies and memories. Emotional tangles are so hard to unravel and that's possibly the main reason I don't try to actively seek someone out. Getting dumped or dumped on is scvary shit and my fear is currently set to paralyzing when I think about relationships.

I fear commitment and rejection. These are of course the same things most people fear. I want to try to overcome them but find that being apathetic works for me right now. I want a relationship but I'm not dying to have one. If it happens it happens. Whther it be for a second or a lifetime it will happen.

P.S. - What the hell do I have to be ashamed of? I write what I feel on my blog and on twitter it's me. If you can't share that's cool and I respect that if you wish to not read my thoughts then click the lovely X found at the top right hand corner of your screen. I should do a post about the double standard when it pertains to sexual exploits. As a blogger I write about what's in my mind needing to get out at that moment so if I'm feeling the need to be dicked down by an ex I'm gonna write about exactly what's coming to mind and what I'm feeling. People need to get over that misconception that women don't like sex. We love...well at least I love it. When it's with the right person. It's just good all around and we certainly get the same urges we're just not as obvious. But I've as I get older I've grown and learned that sex is just another facet of a relationship. It's great but it's not everything.